In her talk, Sherry Turkle said that connection would lead us to isolation. That was one thing that really made me think. She said that we were trying to have everything, be everywhere and talk to everybody at the same time. But we can't do that! I hadn't given it a lot of thought before I saw this video. But I think she is right. The direction, we are heading, is bad. I use my phone way more than I should. I feel a constant need to check my messages or facebook. Even during dinner I sometimes talk to my family and text at the same time. It is very impolite and I feel bad doing this but I don't seem to be able to stop. In this situation, when I'm at a dinner table, listening to my mom and answering to my friend in a phone at the same time, I don't give my full attention to neither one of them. I'm not really participating in neither one of the conversations. That means I can't build a relationship with neither one of them. And this, I think, is what Turkle really thought when she said that connection would lead us to isolation. When we are trying to be connected to everybody, then we can't truly connect to anybody.
It's the worst when we spend time with friends. We meet up to talk to each other and have good time together... But usually what happens, is that we all just sit in a room, our eyes on our smart phones, talking to somebody else. Once in a while we might show a picture from our phones to each other or tell a joke what we had just found, but that's all the conversation there is. And this is really stupid. Couple weeks ago me and my friends from my old school decided to spend time together. One of my friends had the best idea!! She took a shoe box and told to all of us to put our phones in that box. We promised to each other not to touch this box unless we needed to call desperately. We had a great time that evening! I'm so happy I got to really talk to my best friends again!
I think this is what we should do. We should take our time and relax. We don't have to have everything. We don't have to be everywhere. We don't have to talk to everybody. And we can't get to know each other and really enjoy each other if we are trying to be connected to someone else at the same time. Nowadays life is very fast and I know it's a difficult thing to ask. But when you are at a dinner table or with friends, then leave your phone somewhere else. Put it away so you wouldn't feel a temptation to reach for it. And try to forget about what someone might be writing to you at this moment. Give your full attention to those people and the conversation you are having with them. You might be surprised by how it feels to have a real conversation.
Turkle's talk really caught me out of guard and made me think about this topic. I must admit: I am guilty! From now on I will be leaving my phone in my room when I have dinner with my family. I won't be staring at my phone during meetings. And I will leave my device in a bag while spending quality time with friends. I am going to be truly connected to my own life again.
Turkle's talk:
Unplug and have a good time! ;)
Kai
